I have been an absolute mess the past couple weeks: I have given up on academic learning, my eyes have been bloodshot upon awakening each morning (mostly due to allergies), my body is not cooperating, and my mind has been elsewhere, questioning everything I've done up until now. In short, I've been experiencing the teenage angst that I never went through in high school.
Yet, when I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, the sun was shining, it was cooler but not raining (I'd rather be a bit chilly than to be a bit warm), I took a leisurely shower in the stall with the drain that doesn't clog up, and had a leisurely chat with a friend that I had not spoken to in a while.
It seems that I've been so worked up about my "future" -- the thing that everyone is so worried about and constantly discussing, that thing that goads my peers and parents into a frenzy. I have long forgotten to enjoy the present, as cliche as it is, thinking only about the papers due in such-and-such days, the lack of summer plans, what I am to do after graduation in a year.
Perhaps this feeling is only a passing thing, but I am determined to enjoy it. Yes, I'll still be working on papers and the finals late into that night that will unavoidably crash over me in the coming week, but some things are inevitable.
Whatever happens, happens.
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